There are crazy shoes, and there are C-R-A-Z-Y shoes. The above F U boots obviously fall under the “Do not wear unless under the influence of alcohol” category (and I’m not talking tipsy on bubbly, I’m talking whiskey-soaked belligerent!) cuz people will surely stare, laugh, point, and even assault you for being so tacky, and you will need a couple of martinis to handle the harassment. I don’t even think Lady Gaga or bird-flipping enthusiast M.I.A. would go for these.

For the shoe-adventurous who still like to walk on the side of good taste, the spider boots below ($1,695), also from Dogana, are perfectly fun and crazy without being offensive. Not sure about you but I’ll take a dangling spider over the middle finger, any day. At Gregory’s for $1,495 each.