We are all pumped up over Tom Ford coming online to Neiman’s and Bergdorf’s. A little Tom arriving at my doorstep? Absolutely! Especially when it’s in the form of his sex-on-a-platter pumps. Worthy of your most seductive wiggle dress (or your very favorite man), these über-hot shoes with killer stilettos are currently at the top of my list of items to lust over.

I just can’t decide between the two. All sharp points and feminine curves, it’s like one pump is more devastatingly sultry than the next. Whether you opt for the Vegas showgirl with allover Swarovski crystals ($3,890) or the don’t-mess-with-me dominatrix with a beyond-suggestive padlock ($1,100), you know Tom won’t do you wrong (from lipstick to pantsuits, does he ever?). That little padlock is so damn sexy, you will really need to use some sort of chastity instrument to keep things under control. Wear at your own risk!