I was all about my branch-like Jil Sander stilettos until I tried to translate them to real life. Call shoes such as these art, call them unique-chic, call them whatever you need to in order to justify the purchase (I sure did). But now I just call them unwearable! Wild, winsome, wacky heels sure are tempting, but are they more likely to end up on display on your shelf rather than your feet? Here, the best far-out shoes of the moment:

1. Charlotte Olympia Wire-Heel Platform Sandal: Is it a birdcage, is it a piece of garden furniture, or is it a refreshing spring heel? With a leafy print, Charlotte clearly took Palm Springs’ backyards as inspiration for this bizarre wire heel.
At Bergdorf Goodman for $2,395.

2. Giuseppe Zanotti No Heel Crystal-Studded Sandal: I’ll admit high-heels missing their heels aren’t as shocking as they were last year, but Giuseppe has pulled out all the stops with these blue suede sculptures. If the crazy proportions don’t trip you up, watching out for all that delicate beading will.
At Neiman Marcus for $2,140.

3. Aperlai Suede and Leather Elasticated Sandal: Here’s what you would see if you had the chance to ask Picasso to fashion you a pair of shoes. The mishmash of straps doesn’t look uncomfortable, but the funky tower of a heel makes these a silhouette that’s tricky to manage.
On Luisa via Roma for $1,070.

4. Casadei Leather and Patent Sculpture Wedges: A chunky wooden platform with two-tone straps doesn’t sound out-there. But hack holes in that heel so it’s completely hollowed out and you’ve got a wedge that is bound to incite a double take…or three or four.
On Luisa via Roma for $1,200.

5. Prada Jewel-Toe Taillight Wedge Sandal: Kelly already analyzed Prada’s flame-tastic heels, but these make a special impact. Not only are they bejeweled, be-flowered, and ready to take flight, the heel boasts a taillight that will keep them staring.
At Bergdorf Goodman for $1,450.

I bought these Jil Sander shoes a couple of years ago and have never worn them because I can not walk in them. I do like looking at them though. Maybe they should be displayed on my book shelf as book ends.