Why not turn your feet into dumplings? I’m guessing the thought hadn’t occurred to you until now. As tasty as that might sound, it is actually – hello! – in very poor taste. As far as boudoir shoes go, which is the only venue where I can imagine these Viktor & Rolf can go, I much prefer the “classic” marabou mules. And besides, your guy will be so distracted laughing his ass off at you if you wore these oddly gathered sandals that all ambiance for romance will be long gone.

Sure, the colors are as sweet as candy. But the silhouette? They have absolutely no shape or definition. Nothing but fabric wrapped around your foot and crimped with a grosgrain hair ribbon (there’s leather hidden beneath the fuss to keep your foot in). It kind of looks like a hair scrunchie. Which, by the way, someone needs to tell Hillary Clinton to STOP wearing, pronto. Not good on a ponytail and even worse on your feet!

Available for pre-order on Luisa Via Roma for $1,029 (expect delivery of your fashion don’t by March 31st).